The education of a child begins twenty years before his birth, with the education of his mother. Is not there a part of truth in this phrase of Napoleon? Have not the experience and scientific studies shown that the mother deeply imprints on her child what she is? If there is a period during which the mother plays a preponderant role in what will be the trends and moral habits of her child, it is certainly the prenatal period, during which the mother can say with all truth. I am something he, And he is something of my own, so intimate is the organic participation of the child and his mother; So great is also the interdependence in the physical and in the moral.
In the course of those nine months of re-education, the mother must think: I can help my son to become what I should be myself, I can help him to be calm, staying calm, to be smiling if I smile, To be strong being me brave, to be good being me kindly for all.
And on the supernatural level, how much grace can a mother surround her child however little she thinks of from time to time in the presence in her of Christ by grace and in her little by blood. Will mystique be said? The simple logic of our faith. It is not wasted time for a future mother who reserves each day, for example, in the early afternoon a few minutes of rest stretched. A wonderful occasion to return to inner tranquility. The best physical and psychological conditions for the child to develop as healthy as possible are those that result from being much desired.
Some children become almost guilty of being born. The child not only needs food; He also needs affection. There are children who are desired by the mother as compensation for their marital failure; this is a selfish desire: for his own sake he wants to be again in him; it is almost a role of the avenging child that is wanted to make him represent. This is not a guarantee of good development; On the contrary, the best conditions take place when the child is desired not only as a child but as a consecration of mutual love; That is, when the woman wants a “son of her husband”, and the husband, his wife.
The solidarity so intimate that unites the mother with her son, far from disappearing when it comes to the world, continues a long time still. That is why it is so essential that the mother herself be responsible for the education and care of her son and not be resigned to entrusting to others more than in a case of force majeure.
Children should learn to be alone, to have fun alone. If the mother or caregiver manages to fill every minute, they become accustomed to being amused, and then can become insatiable tyrants. I know children who have captured their mother since the early years, constantly asking them Mom, what do I do?” Or Mom tells me a story. I’m so bored. These poor children suffer as a result of their continuous Agitation, and the vacuum of time is an impossible problem for them. With her maternal and irreplaceable smile, much more than giving in to the whims of her son is how the mother gives her ration of affection.
Reasoning with very young children should be kept to a minimum since they are not yet in possession of their logical thinking. To want to make him reason too soon is as if he wanted to get her to walk at six months. He runs the risk of making him sick for his entire life. One of the greatest services you can provide the child is to regulate their automatisms because it is to release it later on obstacles, cares, uncertainties, inhibitions. Facilitate your moral and physical development: help you conquer your true freedom. Order and regularity are almost as indispensable at this age as affection. It is up to you, your mother, who at six months the child can read.
The book where the child will learn to discern what is necessary to do or not to do is your face, with its different expressions. You know what you want from him, and every time his way corresponds to your will, your look and smile will tell you, it’s okay. When the loving gaze and smile disappear and are replaced by a serious expression, the child will have the impression of an is wrong. Your language, although he does not yet understand words, has a meaning that he appreciates. A ton of anger and a touch of carers are not the same for him; the inflections of your voice remarkably reinforce the understanding of your smile or your seriousness.
It is a contradiction to force a child to repeat twenty times the good morning to the same person under the pretext of accustoming him or to amuse the participants. The little ones wish to behave like old people, and they repudiate the office of wise dogs, and if it did not disgust them, it would be even worse, because it supposes that it has the soul of traveling comedians. Avoid talking to your child in baby language, however endearing it may be. You will do a bad service imitating his way of expressing himself. It will be useful for you later to teach him to correctly pronounce his mother tongue and make him repeat the faulty turns.
The role of the father in these first years of the existence of his children is and should certainly be less prominent. Undoubtedly, he can express to his children their nascent tenderness: Man, in general, is not appropriate to manifest such feelings. It is convenient and good that he sometimes takes care of them so that they become accustomed to him and him to his children. But do not try to dominate prematurely on the role of the mother, creating an easy popularity. Is not the new element, to which children see less than the mother, and who can by this fact only have a particular appeal? Let it be dark for the time being in relation to his young children to leave the mother the first role.
It is to be hoped that the strong authority conferred upon her by her physical strength, the vigor of her voice, will ever contribute to the authority of the mother when she is weary and incapable of carrying out the educating task alone. However, this should occur most rarely, especially in the face of the very small. The disproportion of forces creates fear in the child. Fear is the unconscious that is revealed, and it is also the inhibition of the best faculties. Complete education with fear is not achieved. It seems to us preferable that his authority is exercised directly in the form of full approval of the maternal decisions.
If the husband does not approve of his wife in any or all of his acts in relation to his children, let him tell her alone, explaining the reasons. Man, who sees things more outward, also sees farther and more widely, and can give useful advice to his wife in regard to education; And we say a piece of advice and not that bitter criticism that discourages us, and less a sterile mockery or derision. Keep yourself from these angry interventions, where many parents find an apparent satisfaction in their role as the educator. He must not be a machine that makes serious observations, exemplary punishments, and all that dramatic and harmful apparatus in education. His firm calm and the clarity of a reprimand will be worth more than a disordered attitude of an angry father.
Do not worry about not having your children. The violence of the gestures, the extreme swelling of the voice, the glaring glances, are often in his manifestations of a temporary nervousness and of no importance for the adult, but they exert on the small unexpected repercussions. It is up to you, mothers, to interest your husband in the life of the child. Instead of jealously guarding for your discoveries and intuitions, reveal them, make them observe the awakening of their faculties and all the signs of their development.
Mutual trust will Educational benefit your effort. Nothing enhances the confidence of a husband in his wife but helps her to penetrate the intimate secret of that little being, all enigmas, to whom they have given their life together.
